More Than Words Image ©kleio b'wti

Love: More Than Words <3

​Love, they say, is a feeling. But recently, when Val related a conversation with a fellow passenger in an autorickshaw, I had a flash of Newton moment!

Love is not just a feeling. It is also a language of emotional expression. And the language of L-O-V-E is complicated. While socially, terms like ‘baby’, ‘honey’, ‘darling’, ‘sweetheart’ and other endearments in English and their counterparts in different languages express love, sometimes, even words like ‘idiot’, ‘stupid’ or ‘shut-up’; communicates tenderness!

In Bihar (A state in India), the word ‘khacchar’ (mule), is used by elders as an endearment for children. I remember how my granda would liberally use ‘khacchar’ to communicate love, anger, reprimand or disappointment. For his grandchildren, ‘khacchar’ meant an absolute feeling of affection. Well, that word can​ singularly inspire a blog of crazy family anecdotes ;), so I will leave it at just that right now.

Going back to Val, and her anecdote- the passenger was speaking to her boyfriend on the phone with the most loving ‘idiots’, ‘stupids’ and ‘mads’. And it gives us something to think about and perhaps change our overview.

While we judge people and their relationships by how we idealize them, our sentiments don’t extend to many.

For some, love is rude. And for some, it is aggressive​ and or unpleasant. While some like lofty stuff, others have a grounded sense of it. Not every time do we fall in love with that person, who shares the same sense of emotion. Their subjective expression may or may not make us feel good or comfortable.

But it is okay. If we don’t understand the language of love of the other person, it is okay to walk away. Yes, it is literally impossible to find an expert linguist who can translate someone’s feelings for us. Who wants a 3rd wheel in a relationship, anyway? And who understands every nuance of love, after all?
Also, it is okay to stick around to decipher a person of interest’s affection and commitment. Love is truly a mystery!

And the language of L-O-V-E is a whole dictionary with hidden messages and subterfuge of expressions. Subtle or tender, harsh or unforgiving- the language of love is more than words, more than feelings and more than research topics. Honestly, it is a ​hyperbole!

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I Am A Woman

What Is A Woman?

Watching Piers Morgan Uncensored on YouTube, I wondered what the big deal is.

What is a woman? Seriously! Who is a woman?

As a woman, there’s a list of things I want to share, especially after a guest on the programme answered the question with, “A Woman Is A Woman.” Well, it sounds like someone saying as in the song by Shania Twain, “I feel like a woman”. But being of feminine gender is more than a feeling!

Then another one in the aforesaid show, said, “Anyone With Boobs Is A Woman”! Hey! How about male breasts? What if a man with male breasts knows and believes he is a man?

What about chromosomes? And how about Carl Jung’s Anima and Animus? The unconscious aggressive, go-getting part of a woman, is the masculine aspect of a woman’s psyche. While the kind, caring side of a man’s psyche has a feminine aspect.

In a world where women are battling for equal rights at home, at work, in sports or arts, is it okay to really lose the perspective on woman’s identity?

Coco Channel always dressed in pants and shirts, but she designed the most exquisite women’s clothes of her time. Was she feeling like a man when she was wearing men’s clothes of her time or was she feeling like a woman when she designed those comfy and perfect dresses?

There has been enough debate since time immemorial about women, who they are and what they want. But our century has taken all the years of women’s struggle down several notches.

The identity of a woman is in question.

Trans women who are biologically stronger than natural-born women with their men’s genes may say they are woman enough to compete in the women’s category in sports.

But why take undue advantage of womanhood? Have not the women, who were born a woman, enough unfairness to deal with? Why add to it by taking advantage of one’s choice of identity?

We are either born a man or a woman. While the male body is stronger, a woman’s body is more enduring. Men have more body power, while women can bear more pain. Who is better? Who has the advantage? It all depends on the situation at hand.

You are born a woman or a man. Even those of the third gender, generally choose the feminine identity. But it is up to you what you will make of your life, irrespective of the gender you choose to live as. Freedom of choice is a right no one must usurp. So, creating an uproar just to cause chaos and confusion is in bad taste.

Why debate, What Is A Woman or Who Is A Woman?

When the woman in me hears these questions, she laughs. Womanhood is my identity even when I Act Like A Child, I remain a woman.

Trust me, it is not because I have boobs, but because I have the guts to give every male I meet a tough fight. So, here’s my answer to What A Woman Is.

A woman is not a chattel. She is not a property. She is neither just a mother, a sister, a wife, a friend or a trouble. A woman is her own person. She is totally and utterly unstoppable. And she is her biggest fan. She Is Her Number 1. And She Is Proud To Be Born A Woman.

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India

Waking the Indian Within

In the mumbo-jumbo of our current times, sometimes we forget the meaning of freedom and independence.

August 15- is a day of celebration, pomp, glory, loads of patriotic songs and good food! It is our way of celebrating Indian independence.

However, have we endeavoured to find out what independence really means? Our ancestors forsake their all for a generation that’s losing itself in being ‘western’, ‘modern’ and ‘right’. Sadly, that is not what being independent entails.

When we are unswayed by public opinion, untouched by hate, and confident that we can make a difference without getting carried away by what other people are doing- it is independence.

Sahid Samarak- PatnaWhen PM Modi decided to encourage every Indian to fly a flag in every home, he was probably trying to teach us to look beyond the trimmings of society and follow the heart. What could be the true embodiment of the courage one carries but the country’s flag?

Modi went a step further by sending a gift to every household- a tricolour, nicely packed. He not only shared a vision. He also shared the resources to make that vision come true. That is what a true leader does. And here is how he wants to build more leaders like him- with compassion and generosity.

Patriotism is internal. No one can teach true patriotism. Yet it is infectious. When everyone stands up for the national anthem or sways a flag, don’t you itch to do the same?

This year, when you stand up for the national anthem, don’t do it because the constitution says so. This time when you pick the flag and raise it to the skies, don’t imitate the person next to you.

When you sing, “Hindi hai him, Vatan Hai, Hindostan Hamara…” feel the words, mean the words. Then pick up our beautiful flag and say it with your heart- “Sare jahan se accha!

On this independence day, understand our leader’s inclination. He has sent you the gift of the national flag to tell you that this country belongs to you.

Thus nurture your country. Be the wind of truth that blows from Mount Kailash. Become the quencher of thirsts like the mighty Brahmaputra and Ganga. Be the bells of our sacred temples. Find the tiger in you. And be proud of being an Indian just like a peacock.

Strut honestly. Move with pride. Walk with conviction not to get an international VISA or to the airport but to build India stronger. This year raise your cup of chai to an India we so want to build.

Jai Hind!

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