Love, they say, is a feeling. But recently, when Val related a conversation with a fellow passenger in an autorickshaw, I had a flash of Newton moment!
Love is not just a feeling. It is also a language of emotional expression. And the language of L-O-V-E is complicated. While socially, terms like ‘baby’, ‘honey’, ‘darling’, ‘sweetheart’ and other endearments in English and their counterparts in different languages express love, sometimes, even words like ‘idiot’, ‘stupid’ or ‘shut-up’; communicates tenderness!
In Bihar (A state in India), the word ‘khacchar’ (mule), is used by elders as an endearment for children. I remember how my granda would liberally use ‘khacchar’ to communicate love, anger, reprimand or disappointment. For his grandchildren, ‘khacchar’ meant an absolute feeling of affection. Well, that word can singularly inspire a blog of crazy family anecdotes ;), so I will leave it at just that right now.
Going back to Val, and her anecdote- the passenger was speaking to her boyfriend on the phone with the most loving ‘idiots’, ‘stupids’ and ‘mads’. And it gives us something to think about and perhaps change our overview.
While we judge people and their relationships by how we idealize them, our sentiments don’t extend to many.
For some, love is rude. And for some, it is aggressive and or unpleasant. While some like lofty stuff, others have a grounded sense of it. Not every time do we fall in love with that person, who shares the same sense of emotion. Their subjective expression may or may not make us feel good or comfortable.
But it is okay. If we don’t understand the language of love of the other person, it is okay to walk away. Yes, it is literally impossible to find an expert linguist who can translate someone’s feelings for us. Who wants a 3rd wheel in a relationship, anyway? And who understands every nuance of love, after all?
Also, it is okay to stick around to decipher a person of interest’s affection and commitment. Love is truly a mystery!
And the language of L-O-V-E is a whole dictionary with hidden messages and subterfuge of expressions. Subtle or tender, harsh or unforgiving- the language of love is more than words, more than feelings and more than research topics. Honestly, it is a hyperbole!